once bitten, twice shy

Today, daddy day was almost too much to handle. At the YMCA today, a little girl about 2 years old hit Kai on his chest with a big toy while he was laying on his back. Needless to say, he didn’t like that. Well, after I calmed Kai down, I went to work out. I was about halfway through when I noticed one of the counselors coming right at me. My pulse began to race. What could it be?

The counselor said that the same little girl had just bitten Kai on his face. My mind immediately conjured images of Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs. She said it wasn’t that bad, but to come now because now Kai was really upset. Now, I want to be very clear that I feel these counselors are wonderful, gracious people with the patience of a saint. Things like this happen in an instant, and are nearly impossible to prevent. I don’t blame them at all.

I did blame myself. Perhaps I should have just left after the first incident with the toy. And while we did leave after the second incident, I didn’t get to see the mother of the little girl. And it’s probably a good thing, because I would probably have been quite mean. Incidentally, the mother of this biting monster was no where to be found in the YMCA facility. Does she use the place as a drop-off daycare so she can run errands? The counselors looked all over for her — and it’s not that big of a place.

On top of that, when I came to work I was greeted with “do you like your job? Do you want to keep your job?” I was ready to lose it. It seems that in our latest bar audit, where corporate bigwigs send private investigators to spy on the bartenders during our shifts, they noticed that I didn’t ring in each drink as I served it. Well, DUH! Any bartender worth a damn knows that you cannot ring in each drink as you serve it and provide good service. I would have to say, “I’d love to take your drink order or even acknowledge you right now, but I have to ring in this Bud Light that our corporate office thinks I am incapable of remembering to ring in after I take your order, and because they suspect all of their employees of stealing from them.” Perhaps the corporate offices should set up a queue, like a fast food chain, so I can be sure to ring up each item as I serve it. Or they might realize that our liquor costs have consistently been among the best in the industry for years, and that they could maybe ease up on the CIA spy tactics.

I won’t even go on with the details from the rest of the shift. You wouldn’t believe it anyways. Let’s just say that there are a lot of stupid people out there. And they all work at my restaurant.

So that was my day today. I need a drink.

fear and love

They say that we are all born with two basic fears, the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling. Well, researchers have proven that babies do not fear falling until they understand spatial relationships. So falling is out. And since I’ve seen Kai sleep through a number of loud noises, I’ve concluded that babies are not born with any instilled fears. All fears are learned.

From what I can tell, Kai is either fascinated with something or he just doesn’t care about it. I’d say that babies are born with an innate sense of curiosity rather than any instinctual fear. So that got me to thinking, at what point do babies begin to fear things? Right now, if I showed Kai a mouse, he would probably try to grab it and put it in his mouth, whereas, there are plenty of adults who would become paralyzed and irrational with a mouse present. Or a cockroach. Spider. Whatever.

I’d say that babies, and all of us, learn all of our fears. That’s why we all have a different set of fears. Some of us fear heights. Small spaces. Wide open spaces. Water. Fire. People. Whatever. Even the fear of death isn’t universal. In my limited experience with Kai, something either works for him or doesn’t. I wish it could stay that simple.

I think that at some point, babies begin to understand cause and effect relationships, and then the thinking and rationalizing comes into play. That is probably where fears begin to develop. I realize that at some point, Kai will develop his own sense of fear. And please don’t get me wrong, fear is not all bad. Fear, for the most part, does keep us safe. But irrational, unreasonable, paralyzing fear is not healthy at all. So, as a father, I’m trying to figure out how to teach Kai that fine line.

Ironically enough, as I was writing this blog at 2am on Monday morning/Sunday night, I heard strange noises outside of my house. Something made the glass bottles in the recycling bins shift around audibly, which is not the typical behavior for raccoons, as far as I know. Ironically enough, my fears took over and I grabbed my trusty Mag-lite and called the police. I knew in my heart that it was probably nothing, yet if it was something, I did not need to get into that confrontation. When the Orlando police department officer arrived a few minutes later, he said he saw a huge opossum run away from the area in question, alleviating my fears of a dangerous assailant. I thought I handled the situation responsibly and rationally, allowing my fear to work for me rather than become me. What do you think?

Now returning back to my original stream of thought, I’m beginning to think that love is the only innate emotion. Newborn babies only love. They accept everything as it is. Everything else is learned. I guess ignorance really is bliss.

being responsible

For years and years, I’ve avoided being responsible for my personal life as much as possible. I’ve neglected my health, paid bills late, left my car in disrepair, and that’s just the beginning. While I knew in the back of my head that this attitude would eventually come back to get me, I somehow was able to avoid facing any of these responsibilities. Well it stopped working some time ago. Since Kai was born, I have been (with a LOT of Erin’s help) getting my act together and being responsible. While I still have a lot of work to do, I know that I’m on the right path. It may take years to clean this mess up.

Part of being responsible to me is taking care of my health. I’ve lived with severe allergies since I was a baby. About ten years ago I developed allergic asthma, which has been a lot of fun, let me tell you. Somehow, I’ve managed to not tackle this head-on for all these years. Until yesterday, when I went to the asthma-allergy doctor.

Let me just tell you how much fun an allergy scratch test is when you have severe allergies. Imagine the worst itch you’ve ever had — ant bite, mosquito bite, poison ivy, whatever. Then imagine 64 of those itches. Then imagine not being allowed to scratch them while they seemingly burn 64 little holes into your arms for 15 excruciatingly long minutes. That was my day yesterday.

As a result, I am allergic to nearly everything Florida has to offer. Cedar. Grass, all eight kinds that they tested on me. Cats. Dogs. Dust. Ragweed. The list goes on. Anywho, the point is that with Erin and Kai’s help, I am now taking responsibility for another facet of my life, and as a result I feel a sense of freedom and power in that area. As a plus, my doctor has me on a one-week cycle of prednisone, a powerful steroid. Let’s just say that today’s workout was fun and energetic. I feel like I could run a marathon.

Kai has been a handful these last couple days. We think that he has a mild cold — his nose is a little stuffy and he is not sleeping well. His spirits are fine but he definitely has a hard time sleeping, probably due to his stuffy nose. But of course, if Kai’s not sleeping, nobody’s sleeping. He’s becoming quite the high-maintenance baby. It’s a good thing he’s so damn cute.

5k a day

Walking 5 kilometers (3.1 miles for the metrically-challenged) with a thousand strangers at ass-crack of dawn with a 20+ pound pack on my back was actually quite invigorating. Erin, Kai and I walked the annual Seasons 52 Park Avenue 5k this morning, somewhere in the neighborhood of 51 minutes. While it was quite different walking on brick-paved mansion-lined roads, compared to the relatively sterile gym setting we’re used to, it was a fun walk. Kai totally enjoyed it, and actually stayed awake the entire time. He was the hit of the race. I could have had an offensive expletive scribbled on my forehead in bold black ink and nobody would have noticed, since Kai was on my back.

Speaking of my back, we just bought the Snugli Cross-Terrain Framed Carrier, and wow is it nice. Walking Kai in the old carrier began to feel like eagle’s talons digging into my trapezoid muscles after a couple miles. This thing is so nice that it didn’t hurt at all. Much props to the Snugli people for saving my back and allowing me to be close to my boy.

The problem with him not sleeping on my back was that he got quite fussy at the post-race breakfast and we had to cut our stay short. I guess we know who’s really in charge.

Yesterday my friend Robin gave me her laptop to fix up. Amazingly enough, her brand-new laptop featuring the honor system-like security of Windows XP Home Edition and Internet Explorer 6, had managed to accumulate an amazing collection of spyware/malware/viruses/trojans/etc that made her computer completely unusable. I’ve spent the better part of the last two days cleaning it out. I’m about ready to wipe the thing clean and start over.

Check this who’s-who list of security software that I’ve run on her laptop: Norton Anti-Virus, Avira Anti-Vir, AVG Anti-Spyware, Norton Anti-Spyware, WinPatrol, HijackThis!, Ad-Aware, ewido anti-spyware, and counting. And yet, there is still some malicious software on her computer attempting to hijack her Internet Explorer and desktop and change her settings. Most of you know that my main computer is a Mac PowerBook laptop. I have no spyware or virus issues. Our second computer in the house is a Windows XP system. While it gets the occasional tracking cookie, it is virus-free and hassle-free, mostly because we use Firefox as our web browser exclusively. I cannot recommend this enough. If you use a Windows-based PC, please, please, please use Firefox.

parent-teacher conference

For the first time in my life, I participated in a parent-teacher meeting where I was not the subject of discussion. It was weird and exciting and empowering all at the same time. The story is that Isaac’s algebra one grade is slipping into dangerous territory. As responsible parents we gave Isaac a chance to bring his grade up by himself, and when that didn’t work we decided to step in and take an active role. We’ve set up some systems to assist Isaac in bringing his grade up, and also set some repercussions in case he fails.

It’s hard to believe that I’m in this position, because I very vividly remember being in his position. I was a terrible student, mostly because I was bored in class and couldn’t be bothered. I get the feeling that Isaac is going through the same thing.

With his amazing athletic ability, if he showed a modicum of scholarship, he would be a lock to play division 1 college basketball. But without the grades to go with the talent, he could just as easily end up as the best player at the playground telling stories about what could have been. We’re not going to let him become just another playground phenomenon.

Kai, on the other hand is developing his vocal skills quite rapidly. He has learned a new high-pitched scream that could wake the dead. He is still working on sitting up on his own, and is getting better. He definitely wants to crawl, but is still getting a handle on the coordination to do so. When he gets a handle on crawling it is going to be a whole new ball game.

all systems go

One of the possible side effects of changing infant formula is constipation. We did not know this when we switched Kai’s supplemental formula. Kai had not pooped for six days. The first two days Erin and I were pretty laid-back about it, but our concern grew on day three. These last three days we’ve been trying every method to help Kai out. Pears, apple juice, thermometers, abdomen exercises, massages, anything and everything.

Well, it worked. Kai pooped today like never before. It was everywhere, and just when I thought that there couldn’t be more, there was more. It spread like The Blob. I had to throw out two diapers, a receiving blanket, and the changing pad liner. But hey, who’s counting when Kai is smiling?

Yesterday Kai was fussing like crazy at feeding time. In addition to being severely constipated, we suspect that he’s beginning to prefer bottle-feeding, since he can control the bottle and look around at everything while he’s eating. Erin and I figured out that it’s easier to nurse him in a dark room, where there are fewer distractions. Maybe then he figures he’s not missing anything.

Erin, Kai, and I are participating in the Seasons 52 Annual 5k Race this year on the 20th. We’ll be walking it with Kai in his carrier. Or more precisely, I’ll be walking with Kai in his carrier. I’m very excited. I may even walk it with Kai facing backwards, so he can blow bubbles and stick his tongue out at all the people trailing us. I’m definitely enjoying getting fit and exercising. Yesterday I rode about six miles on the recumbent bicycle in its “Alpine peaks” program. Then I did some circuit training. Today I carrier-walked with Kai for about 2 miles. I feel great.

I told Erin that I find it easy to enjoy getting fit, because I know in a few years I’ll be able to play with Kai and keep up with him. I remember when I was growing up I completely admired my dad, and thought he was the strongest and most skilled soccer player in the world. I definitely don’t want to be the dad who has to stop to rest in the middle of a spirited game of soccer or basketball. I plan on fooling Kai into thinking that I’m the strongest man in the world. At least for a little while.

the exersaucer age

The Exersaucer has arrived. Let me explain: this week we joined the millions of people who regret eating a gluttonous amount of food this holiday season and joined the YMCA to make up for it.

Actually the timing of our new membership to the Y is only coincidental, it just happens to also be resolution season. Well, during our workout visit, Kai got to play in their day-care area, where he fell in love with said Exersaucer. Erin and I quickly saw the educational and entertainment value in this toy marvel of modern technology and decided to find one immediately.

That was yesterday. We found a great deal on one from a nice lady in Clermont on craigslist, and drove out there today to pick it up. I’ve never been to Clermont before today, and it’s quite a lovely drive out there. We also stopped and ate at the Lake Minneola Inn Tiki Bar & Grill, where we had a lovely lunch on the lake. And I must say, they make a slamming burger. Perfectly cooked and juicy, I was very impressed. And the servers just fawned over Kai — one of the girls said he looked just like baby Suri. We’re taking that as a compliment.

five months

Today is Kai’s five-month mark — it’s hard to believe that it’s already been five months, and at the same time it’s hard to believe that it’s only been five months. Looking back through the photos from when Kai was born until now reminds me of the incredible progress that we have all made. From being a sleepy, listless newborn to the active, playful boy that he is now; from the loving, scared, and clueless father to the sophisticated, confident dad that I am now (totally kidding, I still have no idea what I’m doing) — we’ve all come a long way.

Let me just tell you how much the hardcover photo book I made (and iPhoto helped!) for Erin’s Christmas present rocks. iPhoto made it so easy to make a really slick photo book that is truly the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever given anyone. It has twenty pages full of photos from this past year, laid out attractively and professionally. The print quality is superb. I am definitely a fan. The only thing is that I’m totally screwed for next year, because it’s going to be hard to top this gift.

My buddy Smitty and his girlfriend Kelly are in town, much to my surprise. They stopped by today to meet Kai and catch up. A couple years ago, Smitty and Kelly moved out to California together to live it up on the west side. They now reside in the ever-so-cool Haight district of San Francisco. I’m so happy for them, and I do take a little pride in knowing that I introduced the two of them. Somehow in all of the commotion, I did not take a single photo of them while they were here.

Today was also another daddy-day. He definitely made me work today — he got up super early and got quite fussy once he was tired. But I persevered, and it paid off when we took a nice two hour nap together this morning. After working late nights all weekend, I definitely needed it.

As far as his eating is concerned, he definitely started to enjoy the organic pureed green beans. Not as much as the sweet potatoes, but he liked them nonetheless. Erin fed him some roasted carrots the other day too, and he seemed to enjoy that. I am determined that Kai is a good eater, and doesn’t have the food hang-ups that so many Americans suffer from. Even as a child, I always enjoyed my veggies. I was never big on fruits, especially not bananas, but I love my veggies.

I know a lot of of people with varying degrees of food issues. It’s almost like an Achilles heel for people with food limitations. It’s one thing to be allergic to a food item, but some people are so picky that it becomes a disability in certain situations. It certainly limits their choices at a restaurant. I’m working on my food issues — I’m eating more fruit these days than ever, which isn’t saying much. I even indulge my sweet tooth every once in a while. And I still wonder, don’t people get sick of chicken fingers?

Anyways, enough for today. Happy new year to you all — may the best of your past be the worst of your future.

happy new year!

A new year has begun. To commemorate the new year I’ve started the 2007 edition of the Kai blog, completely made-over. You can still access the blog entries from 2006, but we’re moving on! This new year promises to be a time of amazing growth for us all, especially Kai. Before we know it he’ll be crawling. In a few months he may know his first bits of sign language.

As we move on into 2007, I have resolved to obtain my mortgage broker’s license by the end of January, and close my first loan by the end of March. I will also finish my business plan for our wine bar, and get that process set into motion this year. And I will continue to work on being present in every moment.

Tonight Erin baby-sat her friend’s 11-month old daughter, Aria. It’s so cute because Kai is the same size as Aria, but she can stand and speak, and do other things that 11-month olds do. It’s crazy to think that in a few short months, Kai will be doing those same things. Kai got to play a bit with Aria, too, which was super-cute.

Anyways, it’s late here and I just got done working my ass off, so I’m off to bed. Happy new year to you all!