10 attributes of really lazy people

1. Inability to put forth the sustained effort required to complete any task.

reality

"The world in which you were born is just one model of reality. Other cultures are not failed attempts at being you. They are unique manifestations of the human spirit."
- Wade Davis

I StumbleUpon'd this quote tonight and it reminded me of a conversation I had about reality a while ago. The result of that conversation was that reality is indisputable, therefore, reality is uninteresting. What is interesting are stories about reality, and that is what we as people like to talk about.

Consider for a moment what the reality is of any situation. The reality is what cannot be debated. The only thing that can be discussed then is the interpretation, or the story of any reality. "The car is red" is a statement of reality, that isn't open for debate. "The car is cool" or "the car is ugly" is a whole other matter, that is not based in reality but is definitely open for debate and is infinitely more interesting than reality.

The moral of the post is: reality is boring, so we make the rest up.

Start looking for reality everywhere, and the stories we tell ourselves will become ubiquitous.

a day at the park

There's nothing like a day at the park that allows us to act like a kid again and reconnect with our inner spirits. I'm definitely looking forward to more playground time with Kai.

We went to Lake Lily park in Maitland yesterday with Kai and Grandpa Bill and Grandma Janet. Erin packed us a delicious lunch and we fed the amazingly-tame ducks and ibis' stale bread and leftovers. Kai was fascinated, and was trying to grab one of the females ducks that came right up to within inches of us. I actually had to shoo the ducks away because I didn't want one of them to peck at one of Kai's outstretched fingers. That's right, ducks are scared of me.

Kai loved the swing set - the higher he went the more he laughed. It was so unbelievably cute.

One of the best things about Kai is that it's motivating us to get outside and experience all that there is to experience. When was the last time you went to a playground and swung for no reason at all? It's funny how as we get older it takes a baby to get us to drop our guards and go have some fun. That may be the best part of being a dad.

New photos are online in Kai's online photo album. Enjoy!

bliss

"You know, people from your country smile." The words leaped over the bar at me from this and tempted me to respond. Who says that? I just gave her a fake smile and continued making the drinks for the large order that I was working on.

This insightful comment came after she asked where I was from, to which I told her I was born in Florida and have lived in this city for 17 years. My country? She actually had the nerve to tell one of the other bartenders that I was rude.

That was two nights ago. Tonight, this guy looked at my name tag and said, "That's an unusual name for a guy." Again, I bit my tongue and said "I guess so."

Am I surprised? I guess I shouldn't be, since I swim through the depths of our collective ignorance on a daily basis at the bar. Has this lady been to the country of my ancestry? If so, has she met everyone in that country? Do they all smile, all of the time? Do the people of her country smile all the time? Is that guy an expert on names? Or are they just people who don't know any better?

It's human nature to judge, classify and categorize everything, all of the time. The trick is to realize when you're doing it unconsciously and stop for a moment. When was the last time you just accepted something or someone, completely and without judgment or an attempt to comprehend? It's rare, if ever. We are hard-wired to judge everything and to do so we must draw from our past experiences. Most of us haven't seen anything completely and truly new in a long time.

That's what Kai is experiencing right now. There is so much that is truly new to him, that his sense of amazement and acceptance is at its zenith. When you stop trying to figure something out and you just let it be, that's the magic of life.

Ignorance truly is bliss.

the present

There's nothing quite like a baby that can get you to accept and enjoy the present moment. Erin and I have been very diligent in enjoying how Kai is at this moment throughout his life, rather than wishing he was quieter, crawling, walking, talking, etc.. I remember at one point months ago having a conversation about how whatever growth stage he was in was going to be over before we knew it. Here I am, nine and a half months into his life, and I already cannot remember what momentuous occassion it was that I was supposed to be enjoying.

For example, Kai right now is a very talented crawler, and he can pull up to a standing position on any somewhat-sturdy object. If he loses his balance, 99% of the time he just falls on his butt into a sitting position. In a few months, he'll be walking, and crawling will be a thing of the past, just another scenic route on his life's journey. Sometime after that his crawling will be a distant memory, and it may be difficult to recreate the joy that we had during those moments when he crawled after us or the cat with that amazingly enthusiastic grin on his face, grunting with joy every inch of the way. Wishing that he were any way other than the way he is could cause us to miss the joy of the present moment, and that would be a tragedy.

Some people go their entire lives wishing that things weren't the way they are. They feel that their circumstances are somehow wrong and unfair. Well, what you focus on expands. If you only focus on the things you don't have, that's all you'll see, and you may not notice that you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, and the other gifts in your life. Every once in awhile, take a moment and take inventory of your life, and appreciate what gifts you already have. Out loud.

You could say that the ultimate gift is your own presence.

On that note, I want to acknowledge you, my faithful readers, for being who you are to me and I hope that you enjoy my work. Until next time, au revoir.

the space between

I met up with some old friends that I used to work with in the personal development seminar business after my shift at the bar. Most of them are young, single guys who travel constantly and party hard. They were looking to have a wild time, and I was looking to have a relaxing beer after work and heading home. It's amazing to me how far I've come since those days.

I don't miss those days of being single and gallivanting around the country having fun, in fact it was a lot of fun. However, on my side of the fence, the grass is a completely different shade of green. I almost felt like I couldn't relate to their situation anymore, like there was a large space between us. When the only person you have to worry about is yourself, there's a lot less responsibility to face up to.

The interesting thing is, I can remember being in their shoes and thinking that the married family men had it bad, and not the other way around. Isn't it funny how life changes? I was reminded of a quote that heard in a seminar: "Your circumstances don't define you. Your circumstances reveal you." How true.

full-speed ahead

Baby-proofing a house is best done early on in a baby's life, preferably before they become mobile. I know this because we have not done this. Our method, despite our best intentions, is to watch what kind of havoc Kai is going to wreak today, and remove those possibilities that could cause serious harm. All heavy and/or sharp objects have been moved onto high ground.

Interestingly enough, if Kai notices the bathroom door open, he crawls right up to the tub and pulls himself up. It seems like he's hoping there's water in there so that he can splash his hands in it. That is his favorite water activity, splashing his hands like crazy and soaking everything within a five-foot radius.

The other day while Kai was sitting in his lounger, drinking a bottle, I experienced one of those hyper-present moments. It was like I was looking down at myself looking at him, and wondering if this was all real. I quickly snapped back to reality and the gravity of the situation set in. This wasn't going anywhere. I've never had anything so permanent in my life. I've never had a lifelong commitment to anything before. Fatherhood is a big deal to me.

It's been said that to do something extraordinary, commit to it and the path will become known. It's absolutely true in this case. I had no idea how to be a father before, or how to be a family. But Erin and I committed to it, and we're doing it. And everyday we figure it out and make it happen and enjoy every minute of it.

I'm back!!!

Sorry for the extended downtime, but due to my main computer crashing, I've had to find a new blog service. And here we are, courtesy of Blogger and Google.

My last post before my PowerBook succumbed to the infamous coffee spill of 2007 was on April 1st, 2007, of all days. My how we've grown! Here's your updates:

• Kai's first words, in no particular order, were "dada" and "poop." He has since learned to say "spoon" and "babababababa."
• He is a expert crawler now. He sometimes drags one knee, usually when he's moving quickly.
• He will pull up on anything sturdy enough to support him.
• He's fallen and hit his head. More than once.
• He can cruise around on the furniture. Slowly, though.
• Separation anxiety is a bitch.

Please leave a comment and let's get this blog rolling.