kai's kisses

I'm reminded all of the time about how much I love Kai. I know it may sound corny, especially to those of you who don't have children of your own, but I really have never loved anyone like I love my son. Like when he wakes up for whatever reason in the middle of the night, I'm usually the first to hear him (thanks to my overly sensitive hearing) and help him get himself back to sleep. Or when he barges into our bedroom while I'm sleeping, and says "daddy" and runs out, as if he just wanted to confirm that I was there before he went on his way. Or when I'm leaving for work, how we runs to the front window and stands there and watches me leave, with his little hand on the window. Those are just some of the little things that I now cannot imagine my life without. I love the way he kisses me, with his tongue lapped out over his bottom lip, all wide-mouthed and wet and slimy. It may sound gross, but it's my son, and that's how he kisses me. It's sweet.

He learned the word "tomato" today. It sounds like "toe-toe" when he says it, but I know what he's talking about. He will literally sit and eat every piece of tomato out of a salad if you let him. He loves tomatoes. And he's been eating a ton of veggies lately. If we sauté some greens in plenty of olive oil with some kosher salt, he's all about it. Knock on wood, right?

The therapy is coming along, albeit slowly. The MRI revealed two herniated discs in my neck. They're not fully herniated, or else I'd probably be bed-ridden, but they out of whack nonetheless. I'm lucky to be alive, is how I see it. Hopefully the therapy I'm going through can help me conquer the daily pain. I swear I get a searing headache at the base of my skull about every other day now, it seems. Like tonight after work, I had to sit and stop working for a few minutes just to get through the pain. Thinking about Kai and his sweet full-contact kisses helps me cope.

tired and amazed

Kai is beginning to put words together now, a fascinating stage for us as parents. He now says "boo-boo knee" when referring to his scabbed knee. When I'm leaving for work, he says, "daddy work." It's amazingly heart-breaking. And all you other parents, eat your heart out, because today Kai ate almost my entire serving of steamed broccoli! Former President Bush would be impressed.

Starting around 7pm on Saturday evening, and lasting for about 30 hours, I was in constant, debilitating pain. At the soft spot in the back of your skull, around where the spine and skull meet, it felt like someone had jabbed a dull knife in there. The pain shot down into my entire shoulder, and I was forced to take a night off from work. Mind you, I've never called in sick to the Restaurant in the two years I've been there, but this was beyond me. The ice pack did help relieve the pain, but I wasn't about to tend bar with an ice pack strapped to my neck.

The doctors ordered an MRI for me, to make sure the damage isn't worse than they thought. When I spoke to the MRI center, they asked if I've ever worked with metals, or if I possibly have metal shavings in my eyes. I immediately thought, what if I did? Would those possible metal shards come tearing out of my eyes during the MRI session? How did they figure out that they should even ask that question? I'd hate to be the guinea pig on that one...

Regarding our current car situation, unfortunately we were upside-down on the totaled car. As it stands, the amount the insurance company is paying for the car is over two thousand dollars short. So we may be a one-car family for a little longer than we had hoped. If you've got an extra car laying around, not being driven, and you'd like to help a young family out, let me know.

Looking back, it's hard to believe how much happened since Kai was born. Eighteen-plus months in, and my old life isn't even recognizable anymore. Amazement has become routine. Tired and amazed. That's parenthood, I suppose.

headache

Wicked headache tonight. And if you know me well, you will know that I am not the kind of person who gets headaches regularly. But ever since the accident, I've gotten headaches that pulse at the back of my head, where the upper end of my neck connects to my skull. And tonight was one of the worst I've ever had... Over five hours of misery... It made for one of the worst work shifts I've ever had. I don't know if it is within our language's realm of possibility to describe...

first blood

It was bound to happen. I mean, really it's just inevitable. It happens to every kid, eventually. Right? Even knowing these past three lines were true didn't make it any easier to take.

While Kai and I were playing on the driveway outside, his Crocs tripped him up and he fell on his face. He immediately began what I would refer to as a medium, probing cry. The kind of cry where he knew something didn't feel quite right, but wasn't debilitating pain, and was certainly more than the fake mommy-and-daddy-turned-off-the-tv-too-soon-because-they-don't-love-me cry. As I picked him up off the ground I could tell that there was something to this cry. And yes, my poor son skinned his right knee today. Actual blood came out. Mind you, this was nothing compared to the scrapes I got into when I was a kid, but damnit, this is my son. I immediately took him inside and applied some disinfectant and Neosporin ointment. To ease his mind, we applied the mental soothing effects of a Baby Einstein DVD. Works every time.



Of course, not even a week ago Kai got his first black eye. What a difference a few days can make... Yes, he was playing at the Y, wearing his Crocs again, and tripped up and slammed his face into one of the tables in the child care area. Right below his right eye, he's got a clearly delineated bruise where the straight, blunt edge of wooden furniture met the soft tissue of my son's beautiful face. You can see it in the lead photo above. I guess with his increased mobility comes increased risk of injury. It's just so hard to stomach as a parent, at least this early on in the game...

One notion I wasn't prepared to deal with was when we took Kai to the after-hours pediatric center for his cold this past weekend. One of the receiving nurses noticed his bruise, and immediately glared at me with a suspicious eye. I hadn't even thought of how to deal with that inevitability. I'd never had anyone look at me so accusingly. I later asked Erin if the Y had some kind of incident report that would explain Kai's bruise. Thankfully, in this day and age, they do keep extensive records of those sort of things.

Eighteen young months into his life, Kai drew first blood and his first shiner. It was only inevitable...

injuries, illness, insurance

I've spent the last two weeks learning about the inner workings of a property damage insurance claim, which is relatively straightforward, and a bodily injury insurance claim, which is maddening at best, and paralyzing at worst. Geico, the insurer of the other guy, has yet to even look at my crushed vehicle. It's been over two weeks now. I have retained counsel for my personal injury claim, though, as that is a battle best left to the professionals. The bright side is that my three-times-a-week pain therapy includes massage, so I've got that going for me...

Kai has come down with another, although much milder, cold. His extreme unhappiness this past weekend did prompt a visit to the after-hours pediatric center, whereupon our arrival Kai immediately cheered up. Oh the irony... I will say though, that if I were to be in the pediatric field, this is the kind of place I would want to work in. They don't even open until 5 during the week, and 1 on the weekends. That's PM. That's my kind of schedule.

At any rate, they determined that Kai did not have another ear infection, as we feared, just a low-grade fever and a very runny nose. We put him on some kind of herbal juice remedy that Erin found at Whole Foods that was made for kids and their all-too-frequent colds, and he's been in much better spirits since then.

Kai's 18-month check-up came and went without too much fuss. He has grown two inches and gained two pounds since his last visit, which is amazing when you consider that two pounds is nearly 10 percent of his own body weight, in only three months. Only Major League Baseball players grow that quickly. Ouch. Is it too soon? It's too soon.

So between doctor visits, insurance adjusters, lawyers, case managers, work, and sick child, I've had plenty to write about and no time to actually write. The pain in my neck and shoulder and back persists, although I should probably not talk about it here until the case has been closed. You longtime readers know how my words have been misconstrued against me, so it's probably best that I keep my mouth shut until it's all wrapped up. Stay tuned for more news.