perception

The thing is, reality is perception. What people choose to see is what is real for them. Two people can look at the exact same thing and come up with two completely different conclusions. Take for example, the World Trade Center jet-bombing. In America, we were horrified and moved to tears. In some parts of the Middle East, people were cheering. Over the exact same incident. It happens all the time, this gap in realities. Perception, we can then conclusively say, is reality.

But our perceptions are not real. They are just more interesting than reality. It is so hard to lose our own illusions.

It is quite apparent to me that the reason that my mother does not like my wife is her perception. For as long as I can remember, my mother told me never to marry a woman who has already has a child, or who has been married before. Erin started out with two strikes. To me, Erin was a strong, single mother who raised a child on her own, with absolutely no support from Isaac's father. Isaac's biological father has never even met him. It takes incredible courage and strength to raise a child with two parents, much less one. Whereas I think a single mother deserves a medal, my mother would presumably give the same single mother a scarlet letter.

I've heard many people say that they don't believe in divorce. It's usually because of religious reasons. I definitely believe in divorce. If you do not love someone, why torture yourself? We are on this earth to be happy, not to abide by some made-up rules of society. Divorce is not a handicap in my book, but in my mother's it definitely is.

As the poet John Keats said, "'Beauty is truth, truth beauty,' — that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

My mother doesn't like Erin because she thinks that Erin is rude and disrespectful. However, she will not even consider that Erin has never intended to be disrespectful. Her preconceived notions will not allow her to see Erin as she is.

Erin is the most loving, considerate, and powerful woman I've ever known. She loves me exactly as I am, and exactly as I'm not. She has called me into being more than I ever was. Kai is lucky to be her son. I am extremely lucky to be her husband. And anyone who gets to know her would consider themselves better off from having known her.

So we go on, into the unknown future. At some point, I dearly hope that the relationship between my family and my mother and father can be resolved. We'll continue to reach out. It's up to them to grab the rope and accept us.