confidence

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about confidence. Apparently a lot of other people have, too. A recent Google search had over 176 million results for that term alone. Through the personal development training that Erin and I have done, the books that I’ve read, and the seminars I’ve sat through, I have come to believe that confidence is one of, if not the, most important personality traits for happiness and success in life.

I see proof of my belief every single day at my work. On the days that I feel the most confident, I have the best time at work and make the most money. Even on the days where I force myself to fake being confident, I make great money and end up having fun. And I especially see it in my guests. We have plenty of guests who are obviously lacking in self-esteem. You can hear it in their language. “I’m not good enough” is usually the underlying message in their speech. Whether they’re not good enough to appreciate a decent glass of wine or a top-shelf margarita, it’s all over their words.

Of course, on the flip side, we have plenty of guests who are over-confident, or cocky. I believe that being arrogant is merely a defense mechanism for a lack of confidence and self-esteem. These people are easy to spot, and they’re everywhere.

I like to think that truly confident people tend to fly just under the radar. They know things are going to work out for them in the end. They get that life is short and is to be enjoyed. These people can accept and deal with anything that comes along. They embrace and dive headfirst into the unknown. I’d like to think I’m in this category. I’m sure we all would.

In the end, I tend to have my days in each category. Sometimes more categories than the ones I’ve mentioned. Sometimes all of those categories in one day. And yet I know that on the days where I don’t let my self-doubt run the show, those are the days that are fun and productive.

The challenge is that I know that confidence, or the lack thereof, comes from your childhood. Whatever is learned in your early years takes a lot of effort to overcome later. So the question now is, how do I instill a general sense of confidence in Kai? How will he know that he is good enough, he can do and have anything? Sure I’ll tell him, but is that enough?

I feel like I’m at the crossroads of development here. I have no idea where we’re going next. All I know is that today was great, and tomorrow will be great, too. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing tomorrow, it’s going to be awesome. So will the day after that...